1950 Memories of Suburban Adventures

Home » 11 – Wily Adaptations

Category Archives: 11 – Wily Adaptations

Mad Cow Hero

Next time I'll have Daddy-O turn you into hamburger!

Next time I’ll have Daddy-O turn you into hamburger!

Some people are preordained to become heroes. I humbly confess that yours truly was one of them.

I previously rescued David from burial-at-pond (like burial-at-sea, but on a smaller scale) and I saved Dad from a poison clam, so it was a matter of time before my heroic actions would be called upon again.

On an early spring day, Mom and I sat in the backyard reading near Paula’s playpen. Mom and I read in the dappled sun of a big oak tree’s outer shadow and the playpen hugged the trunk in full shade.

Dad and David were shooing heifers outside the barn. Cooped up inside all winter, this was the first time outdoors for the young cows.

A loud crash suddenly interrupted our rural reading tranquility. A heifer plowed through the barbwire fence separating the pasture from our backyard, and it was stampeding straight for baby Paula.

Mom jumped up and ran to get Paula. I sprang up and ran toward the charging beast, yelling and waving my arms wildly. The distraction worked. The heifer changed course from Paula to me. The idea of climbing up a tree barely passed through my head when time ran out, and I was trampled.

Paula a year later, with a diaper hood.

Paula a year later, with a diaper hood.

Mom scooped up Paula and hurried to see how badly I was injured. The wind was knocked out of me; I couldn’t speak or stand.

The young cow ran back along the fence-line and continued toward the barn. By then, Dad and David were outside to corral it. Mom screamed to Dad as he closed the gate on the mad cow.

“Freddy, hurry! Mary’s hurt.”

He ran to see what happened, followed closely by David. My breath came back as they arrived. I was bruised and sore from the hoofs, but no bones were broken.

Describing the event, Mom said, “Mary probably saved Paula from being seriously injured. There was no way I could reach Paula before the heifer.”

Dad and David seemed impressed.

“Why would it do that?” I asked. “It charged right at us.”

Dad explained, “Once in a great while, the change from inside all winter to outside causes a heifer’s eyesight to temporarily invert. It drives them crazy until their eyes have time to adjust and go back to normal.”

I didn’t care what caused the heifer to go crazy; I was a hero. I should consider getting a cape.

Lesson learned: The greatest hero is one who doesn’t blow his own horn. I couldn’t help tooting a little bit.

Related posts: Chapter Two: Doty’s Pond; Chapter Ten: Poison Clam

Now it’s your turn: Have you ever been trampled?

© Mary Norton-Miller and 1950s Suburban Adventures, 2012 forward. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Mary Norton-Miller and 1950s Suburban Adventures with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

%d bloggers like this: