1950 Memories of Suburban Adventures

Home » 14 - My First Boyfriend » Kiss Me, You Fool! » Kiss Me, You Fool!

Kiss Me, You Fool!

I had a secret so devastating that it could ruin my teenage life.

Everything looked perfect on the outside. I was a junior going steady with a senior. Ricky wrote love poems and sang songs for me. He bought me little gifts. Life should have been wonderful.

But after two months of going steady, a dark cloud threatened to blot out our sunshine.

Ricky and I had never kissed.

I was so embarrassed I lied in my diary in case anyone ever read it.

In Ricky’s defense, I have to admit I was mostly to blame for our lack of lip action. Several times he got up his courage and leaned real close. I’d panic, turn my head, and begin jabbering nonstop.

I needed Ricky to grab me by the shoulders, pull me close, and plant a tender kiss on my trembling lips. So I decided to make it easy for him.

We went double-date bowling with a couple of his friends. As we headed toward my home, time for Ricky’s kiss-motivation was running out. His friend drove, so we had the backseat.

Boys: Take pity on a girl if she ever does the following weird actions with you.
Girls: Do not copy my ill-advised plan to instigate a kiss.

www.penelopesoasis.com This is how I started.

This is how I started.

I stopped talking and emitted a sleepy, yet seductive sigh. I shut my eyes and slowly leaned my head sideways, lower and lower, until it rested on Ricky’s shoulder.

I was now asleep and unable to fight off anyone who kissed me.

No kiss.

Hmmm, I’d have to make it easier.

Sleeping people have no control over their movements. I inched my head from Ricky’s shoulder until it was halfway down his chest. Because Ricky and I were sitting beside each other, the back of my head was against his chest while I faced the back of the driver’s seat; wrong direction.

“Mary, are you asleep?” whispered Ricky.

If I answered, then obviously I wasn’t sleeping; which begged the question of why I slid halfway down his stomach with my back toward him.

www.reddit.com This is what should have happened.

This is what should have happened.

Ricky’s whisper disturbed my somnambulant state. I softly moaned in my sleep and twisted my head up toward where his lips should have been waiting.

My contortions were giving me a crick in my neck. What would it take to make Ricky bend his head down and make the connection?

I licked my lips and parted them in an alluring manner. I remembered the Italian meatball sub I ate earlier and switched to nose breathing.

My neck and back ached. Would it look slutty if I lowered myself a teeny more, so the back of my head rested comfortably in his lap?

My thoughts never got any further.

The driver started laughing and said, “Oh my God! Look at Mary. What the heck is she doing?”

I bit my tongue to keep from yelling, “Mind your own beeswax. And why are you spying on me with your rearview mirror instead of paying attention to the road?”

Was it possible that my mental vision of my proffered self didn’t mesh with reality? Time to wake up. I moaned slightly louder than before and sleepily sat up.

“Did someone say something?” I mumbled. “I must have fallen asleep.”

The driver’s girlfriend said, “You sure do sleep funny.”

Ever the quick wit, I responded, “I always sleep all twisted around.”

www.visualphotos.com I would have been happy with this!

I would have been happy with this!

The couple waited in the car while Ricky walked me to my house. I opened the door, turned back toward him, and willed our lips to touch.

Ricky’s voice started getting softer and softer, and then faded out completely. The peepers and crickets emphasized our silence. He slowly leaned in close. His warm breath made nervous puffs against my face and I almost fainted.

I looked at his open lips, panicked, and shut the door in his face while quickly saying, “Bye.”

Confucius say, “To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.”

Sleep did not come easily.

Lesson learned: Kissing Ricky would be very right, but I was a coward—a skinny never-been-kissed sixteen year old coward.

Now it’s your turn: Tell me about your first kiss or almost kiss.

Related posts: Chapter Fourteen: Jealous Heart; Boiling Over; Ugly Bug Ball; Unearthly Love Spirits

© Mary Norton-Miller and 1950s Suburban Adventures, 2012 forward. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Mary Norton-Miller and 1950s Suburban Adventures with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


  1. valleygrail says:

    Groan. All your great plans to end up like that. Good effort, though!

  2. chsuresh63 says:

    Haha Mary! The prospect was always better than having it become reality then, was it? 🙂

  3. Sadly, I don’t actually remember my first kiss. I remember the guy and that we were at church camp for a week and we did a lot of kissing, but I don’t remember the first kiss and that was my first kiss with a boy, ever. The one I do remember was later that year when I was dating a boy at school. Kenny and I hated each other in the 8th grade. He was fat and his hair was cut too short and he was rude. He enjoyed offending me because I was always good for a reaction and that is what he wanted. He moved away, then moved back when we were sophomores and boy had he changed! He was taller, his hair was long, his Native American heritage was obvious, and after he got his California tan and worked out a little, he was devastating to look at! The dynamics between us changed. One day in biology class I asked him if he needed a ride home after school. I was driving my dad’s 1966 VW while he was out of town. I drove Kenny home that day, and everything started with that. He wanted to learn to drive, so early in the mornings I would pick him up and we would go to the mountain behind my house and I would let him drive. It was just a couple of weeks later that we were on our way somewhere and we stopped for gas. We were just far enough away from home for me to let him take the wheel so we switched seats. But he didn’t start the car. I was talking non-stop. About the car, about my friends, whatever, I was just jabbering. I wasn’t thinking of being kissed, we hadn’t kissed yet, it was just something silent in the back of my mind that made me nervous enough to keep talking. Suddenly he leaned over toward me and planted his lips softly but firmly on mine, a thrill ran through me! I didn’t do anything but enjoy the feel of his lips, but I learned a lot more about kissing from Kenny!

  4. TheLastWord says:

    Does theatre rehearsal count? If so, then that’s probably it. I kind of vaguely remember a party or two….

    The other “first” started with me complimenting her on her behind. (Yup – a strange moment of courage) She slapped me playfully. I pretended to be seriously wounded. She went on tiptoe and kissed me to make it better. 36 years later we’re still weird.

    • skinnyuz2b says:

      Wiseguy, I love your First Kiss poem!
      It reminded me of a ditty that my grandfather (75 years older than me, born in 1875) used to sing. I can’t remember the exact words, but something like “The ladies they would soap me up, wipe water from my brow, I was just a baby then, I wish they’d do it now.”

  5. actually we repressed Indians cant talk about this, kamasutra notwithstanding. but you have inspired me to write on my 1st dance

  6. Glynis Jolly says:

    It must have been awful to be so timid. My problems didn’t start until the guy would want to neck in the back seat. I just didn’t want to do it.

  7. Ralph says:

    Another one of your brilliant posts my friend. You’ve just got to put these posts into a book !

    I’ve never been kissed. If I was I’d turn into a frog …….. oops ….. prince 😉 ❤

  8. the comments I posted aren’t visible

  9. http://soumyamukherjee8.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/thats-when-i-knew-i-loved-her/ one more in that vein 🙂 encouraged by your reception. lets see if this gets spammed too

  10. Hi Mary. Sorry this suggestion’s too late, but if you’d done yoga maybe you could’ve got yourself into a more comfortable and enticing position.

  11. themoonstone says:

    Ha ha ! An interesting episode and good try 🙂

  12. kriskkaria says:

    Cute story. Can I narrate it for my podcast?

  13. Certainly a different perspective on the old adage ‘treat ’em mean and keep ’em keen’, but I assume it worked!

  14. Elle Knowles says:

    Sweet sixteen and never been kissed! Now how many girls can actually say that now? Innocence does not run rampant these days I’m afraid!
    BTW – I know I haven’t seen you in my reader lately so I had to go looking for you!

  15. Equipping The Saints says:

    I think that you might like the following movie clip from American Graffiti. It fits in with your story of waiting for a kiss. As for my first kiss, I think that I was five years old. The girl next door (maybe seven years old) and I got under a blanket in a field and, “well, you know the rest!” It seemed like an eternity for my next one. I may share it later.

    • skinnyuz2b says:

      My actual first kiss was in grade school. The boy did it on a dare from his friends. I wrote about it in Ch 5 ‘First Kiss’. But I wanted a real kiss.
      I’m looking forward to reading about your story when you decide to tell it.

      • Equipping The Saints says:

        Thank you for sharing. Please let me use vi after my next sentence. You are so cute vi !!! It seems like you were my next door neighbor (not the one that I mentioned). I am glad that you are able to write about the experiences of your life; many people can’t do that. If you ever think that email conversation is better, please let me know. I do a lot of conversation with people who are having difficult times in their lives. That is why I use emails for that, as opposed to blog, fb, twitter, etc. I had a video that was sent to me today, that I think will resonate with you. It is pretty much of the time era of our younger years. So, be on the look out for it. I really want to thank you for being a friend. By the way, could you see yourself being ‘Opie’s girl friend in American Graffiti? (Another thought; my next door neighbor was named Rita. She tried to teach me how to dance. Wow! I must have had three left feet. She was very cute. Nobody was in her house with us. We lived in Gretna, La. I’m glad that both of us had “proper” morals. Her father used to take me fishing with the family. I think that I was 13 or 14. Please have a good afternoon.

      • Equipping The Saints says:

        Here it is. I hope that you enjoy these thoughts.

        As I have read your posts, I have seen you being a part of these two videos. In the first one, I can identify with the 56 Ford, two-tone, blue and white, two-door hard top. The houses, the school, the way that the kids dressed, etc. Such good times of the early 60s are shown in this video about those times.

        Do You Remember?
        Phil Collins

        The Stroll became popular when I used to watch American Bandstand when it was broadcast from Philadelphia. I would watch it every day after school for an hour and a half. This was not from AB, but it looked like it, based on how the kids dressed. I knew a lot of the names of the kids, especially the Jiminez sisters (imagine that!). So, I hope that you will take yourself back to times that were much simpler.

        The Stroll 1958

      • skinnyuz2b says:

        No Opie’s girlfriend for me. He looked too much like Howdy Doody. I remember the stroll, we did at the junior high and high school dances. I also recall wearing white go-go boots while doing it.

  16. Morguie says:

    OUCH!! My face is red for you! OUCH!!

    • skinnyuz2b says:

      I can talk about it now, CJ, but never told the story to a soul at the time.

      • Morguie says:

        Yes, those extra sensitive awful years between childhood and adulthood. My first boyfriend was a 2-year thing and both our parents didn’t like us to be so exclusive. We had to stop dating. Honestly, I do not know how I made it thru that…my heart was beyond broken. But here I am, alive 35 yrs later to tell the bloody story! 😛

      • skinnyuz2b says:

        CJ, we look back and remember the old beaus fondly, well, most of them. But who knows how it would have turned out if we stayed together. Maybe good, maybe bad.

  17. rommel says:

    A big kudos for you for not being an easy girl. Who knows her limits, has control, and can stand by it. Ricky actually “sounds” like standup guy too. A guy who has patient and was willing to wait that long … I salute him too. 😉

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