Boys, listen up! Do NOT playfully slap a first-kiss on a girl unless you make sure that she isn’t boy crazy. She will annoyingly dog you like a bloodthirsty mosquito.
Egged on by his buddies, Allen sincerely regretted his impromptu action, since it caused me to stalk him for the remainder of my time at Dix Avenue grade school.
At the end of our first day of fourth grade I stood in bus line, in front of Allen and a few of his friends. Mrs. Crannell, our new teacher, announced earlier that we added another state, Hawaii, during summer vacation. It didn’t seem a big deal, because we got Alaska the previous January. I figured we’d keep getting a new state each year. I’m still waiting.
Suddenly, I was swooped backwards over Allen’s outstretched leg. I looked up into his face and he kissed me, just like in the movies. With his dared-deed completed, he straightened me up and turned his back. He thought he was finished with me. Ha, my homing signal was zeroed in on him.
His friends guffawed and slapped him on his back. Their laughter was cut short by the bus-line monitor. She sent Allen to the principal’s office and told me to follow him.
Allen and I sat in the glass-walled waiting room, watching the kids in line pointing at us. I beamed with pleasure, knowing they all knew I was kissed in the most romantic way imaginable. Allen didn’t look as pleased. He would have been less happy if he knew he ignited my undying devotion–for what would seem like an excruciatingly long year. The monitor escorted us to our bus after the other kids finished loading. I held my head high, basking in my celebrity status.
Fast forward: When I turned sixteen, I related my bus line story to my cousin Annie. My family had moved from the school district, and Dix Avenue graduates merged with Annie’s school in Fort Edward. Annie informed me that my Allen asked her to a school dance and she turned him down. Although I would no longer recognize Allen if I fell over him, disbelief, indignation, and jealousy swept in and slowly (very slowly) filtered out.
Allen’s bus line dare set a high standard for kissing that didn’t get repeated for a lot longer than I wanted.
Lesson learned: An early start isn’t always a measure of future success.
Now it’s your turn: Tell me about your first kiss.
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